Cadet Smirk (jayarr) wrote,
Cadet Smirk

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Picking Up Women: The Fighter Pilot's Guide

F-15 / F-16: Hot looking chick.

F-4: Older, still hot looking chick.

A-10: A chick who's not really good looking, but you bet she'd be fun to ride for a while.

Fighter Drag: That theory where every fat, ugly chick has 3 good looking friends. Like when a couple of fighters go overseas, they travel with a single tanker to provide gas and navigation assistance.

Air to Air: When you're "engaging" with the enemy.

Strafing run: Going out to the bars or on a dance floor, trying to pick up something good. Like going out and looking for targets of opportunity.

Carpet-Bombing: Just going out to the bars or a dance floor looking for anything. Like when a B-52 unloads over North Vietnam. You could hit something very good looking and valuable, but chances are you'll end up with some low-priority target. Also known to laymen as "going hoeing."

C-5 / C-141: Large woman.

Recon: Looking over a scene, seeing if there are any possible targets.

Going to guns: When you're engaging a target, and things get closer.

Splash One!: When you go to guns and make the kill.

NVG (night-vision googles): Beer goggles. After you put them on, everything looks different. You see targets and you can't quite make out if they're an F-16 or a C-5, but you decide to engage anyway.

Punch-Out: Emergency egress out of a situation after you wake up and switch off the NVG.

Target Rich Environment: Lots of chicks.

Target Poor Environment: Opposite.

Cockpit: Think about it.

Chemical Warfare: Mace.

HOTAS: Hands on Throttle and Stick (self-explanatory).

Lack of Situational Awareness: She's drunk.

Abort!: She looked cute from far away!

Enter the Pattern: Start working your way across the dance floor toward her (see Abort!).

Beyond Visual Range (BVR): Blind Date.

All Thrust and No Vector: Dumb blonde.

Pull Chocks: Head out to a different bar.

Enemy Air Defenses: Her boyfriend.

Suppression of Enemy Air Defenses (SEAD): Barfight.

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